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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Unanswered questions

 I  wish  my  child  could  voice  his  gestures  of  expressions in  words.  I  wonder   how  many  questions he  has  for  me.  If  only  I can  hear  them  I  would  do  anything  to  fulfill  his  wishes . I  may  not  hear but  I  can  feel his  questions.

I   don’t  understand  you  mom?  Why  do  you  tell  me  things  I  don’t  understand?
Why   don’t   you  understand  me  mom?  Can’t  you  hear  my  telepathic  message?
How   do  they  climb  up  there?  It  seems  fun  but I can’t  do  it.  It’s  so  scary?
Why  are  you  trying  to  make  me  do  things  on  my  own?  You  are  my  mom,  why  don’t  you  do things  for  me  like  you  always  have?
Why   are  they  looking  at  me?  I  think  they  like  my  hand  flapping.  I’ll  speed  it  up.
Why  do  you  want  me  to  do  so  complicated  things?
When  I  want  something,  why  do  you  give  me  the  thing  right  next  to  what  I  wanted?
Why  do  you  look  at  me  so  sadly  sometimes?  I‘ll  ignore  it  then  it  might  go  away.

There are many questions that go through my mind also I wish someone has an answer for them.

Did I do something to cause my son’s autism?
Am I doing everything I can do for him?
Can I reverse his autism?
Can my son have an education?
Will he be able to survive on his own?
Will he be able to earn a living?
Will he have a girlfriend and get married?
What will happen to him when we are gone?

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